I Fall Into a New Darkness
Through another trapdoor, and through another false floor, I tumble. Like a flaming canon ball, I plummet and descend, disorientated and despicable, terrible in my weight and heft, with the momentum of mad aeons to spur me on. Verily, it is a neverending perdition, an unending abyss, the trajectory of the damned and entirely dire in its consequences. The vehement loathing of God is the fuel in my tank. The clinging ghosts of a million crimes are tethered to my back. My soul is a mural of iniquity, even as Dorian Gray increased in heinousness and gratuity. The spilled blood of countless innocents screams for justice and retribution. Why did I die in vain, the resounding demand. How did I come to expire in such egregious indignity when the Lord God should have protected me against all evil?
The floorboards crash and give way and infinitesimal splinters explode in the air, with an apocalyptic crash, heralding new permutations of catastrophe. My ears are like startled animals, cowering in affright and meekness as the rank calamities of woebegone humanity escalate into new spectres of disharmony and aggression. I am overcome with a frightening nausea and dizziness, the after effects of satanic antipathy and witchcraft. My very cells are desirous of revenge. My voice is wont to sing battle cries and the a call to arms, but I am descending so rapidly that even the angels and officers of God are perplexed.
I cling to random pieces of detritus in desperation and anxiety, feverish for some coherent handhold in this rising insanity, this vast apocalypse, this panoply of dread, this overcooked and overzealous debauch. I can recall the semblance of Adam as he was, with Christ as counsellor and the principalities and powers ready to serve the Elohim and Jehovah Jireh, ready to lift the creation to new splendour, but the memory is dashed away by the uncouth fates that convey men to the pit, showered in contumely and the reminders of past wrongs. Despite the onslaught, I hum the old hymnal and remember the sense of triumph and communion as we stood in the church, worshippers in unity and joy, praising the most high with gusto and aplomb. This is aught I have for comfort now.
